It's been a while since I updated my blog. I finished one degree and went straight into grad school so time has been sparse. The question I always get asked is "how are you?". If I have to answer honestly, I would say I'm sick. What I struggle with is the hormone imbalance more than anything else, with the pain being a close second. I was recently told that my endometriomas have grown back which is very disappointing and would explain perhaps the symptoms I've been experiencing. My periods have become very irregular as I approach menopause and this has made things a bit more difficult for me because I am no longer to time my schedule accordingly because I never know how I'm going to feel on any given day, whereas before I could predict with some certainty when would be a good time to schedule a certain activity.
My main symptoms are fatigue, flu-like symptoms, a crushing all-over body type pain and nausea. These episodes have become far more frequent and are very frustrating. The pain is mainly in my uterus and hips although now I am getting shooting pains in my ovaries, probably from the endometriomas. The coccyx pain that was so beautifully resolved by my excision surgery is beginning to return but it feels slightly different. I have a deep aching in my coccyx and a sharp, shooting nerve pain in my right hip. Periods are an ordeal. My current cycle has been 54 days long with no end or relief in sight. The relentlessness of this disease is the hardest cross to bear.
My OBGYN wanted to do a complete hysterectomy on me but I refused. I have made my views about hysterectomy very clear on this site. There are no guarantees I'd feel better, and certainly no guarantees that the fatigue or hormonal issues would't actually become worse. I could not bear it to be any worse and so I have elected to stick with what I have. It's a sad reality that this disease has so few answers. I wish I had better news.
One bright chink in the darkness is the success I have had with dietary restrictions. Being on a very strict vegan pure food diet definitely had a positive impact on how I feel. The downside to that is it is very difficult to maintain and any indiscretion quickly leads to a relapse which takes days or weeks to come back from, by which time you search for comforting food to make you feel better...which of course it doesn't. I gave up alcohol, which I strongly recommend, and no longer eat any kind of bread or baked goods. I make my own homemade cookies from gluten free oatmeal and flour and I eat mostly vegan/vegetarian. It's not a perfect solution but it has helped tremendously. I still maintain that the best treatment is that purported by Dian Shepperson Mills and Forks Over Knives. A vegan whole food diet has the most definitive and positive effect when used in conjunction with excision surgery and natural progesterone.
In conclusion, I feel distorted, disabled, scarred and exhausted from this disease. The closer I get to menopause the worse I feel and the less I am able to do. At this point I wouldn't say that menopause makes it all go away. If I miss a period I just suffer from all the awful pre-period symptoms for longer but just without the bleeding. I still have the pain. Only time will tell if things will ease up as I progress into full menopause.